Goodbye Daddy

So once again Josh has left us, and hopefully for the last time...in a long time for training in Arkansas. He left at 6am on Saturday morning and I stood in the driveway in my PJ's balling my eyesout. I dont know why this time was harder for me than a month ago when he left for PA. Maybe it was that it is twice as far away as the first trip and I just worry about his safety. Or the loneliness that I will feel while he is gone. The only thing I have to snuggle at night is a body pillow and frankly it is just not the same.

Last night my worst fear happened... well not my worst but one that I dread when ever he goes away. At 2:30 am I woke up because the power had gone out. My first thought was OMG! Someone cut the power off to the house, they are about to break in and kill us!!!! Then I ran to the window to see if my theory was true and if all the neighbors still had power. Thank God everyone was out. So either some drunk driver on his way back from a 4th party hit a power line pole on 460 or the pyscho serial killer found away to take out everyones power.

So immediately I picked up my flashlight I had already placed on the nightstand of my bed and went downstairs and had to dig through the stack of paid bills to find the power company's number. I called and reported the outage... apparently not being the first one. Then due to the LACK of noise Connor woke up and started crying. He has also been sick with a cold and started having a croupy sounding cough... Great! So Connor, Woofer & I all sat in my room by the light of one burning candle while I prayed desperately for the power to be restored. Finally after an hour it was... and I put Connor back to bed and drifted off to sleep myself ( with almost everylight in the house on). Now after way to much caffine late this evening I lay awake not being able to sleep... so what better to do than blog.

So in other eventful news... the day before Josh left for Arkansas we took Connor to the park to play. I have included some pictures for your enjoyment. He loves more than anything to get down and run around - and apparently away from us. So we took him to the baseball field where he could run around in a CAGED area :) Josh and I stood there and watched how far he would actually go... and he kept going and going until we decided to run after him. It was kind of heartbreaking that he is so independant.

You know you read in all these books and hear mothers scold you for co-sleeping with your child for as long as we did ( which was up until he was a year old) but to be truthfully honest, and while every child is different. Connor is ANYTHING but dependant! He is the polar opposite of that. We had no problem getting him to sleep in his crib and the more I think about it - I think he was trying to tell us that is what he wanted for a while before we ended up doing it. He moves around during the night more than any child I have ever seen. He also plays really well by himself and isnt clingy unless its in a new situation where he seems overwhelmed and even then its just for a minute.

While I cant say I will co-sleep at all with my next child, or I do for as long as we did with Connor I will say that not only did I treasure every cuddly moment of it( until I was kicked profusely in the stomach by my mammoth child) but I feel as if it gave him a sense of security and that is why he is as independant as he is. He knows that his mommy and daddy love him very much and so he is secure enough ( yes even at 18 months) that he can be his independant self :)

So now we are going on two days w/o daddy and we miss him very much. Only 11 more to go until we see him again.

Cant wait!